Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Jack the Ripper

Saturday, February 7, 2009

In a blatant attempt to avoid studying (damn you pathology!) I figured I'd take a few minutes to just write a quick blog about the events that transpired yesterday. In a fit of what I can only assume as sadistic humour from the cosmos, this was shortly after I posted the previous blog about jack's antics. Since Jack has been going through a period of trial separation from his BFF, Beni, he's been a bit off the wall (as my now dearly departed bra will attest), I figured that I would take advantage of the free morning I had and take him to the field. I should've known that nothing but trouble would occur when the first thing I encountered that morning was a ginourmous spider in our bathroom sink (how did it even get there!?).

In any event, I'm not really good with the details pre-coffee, so it totally slipped my mind that there was a small family of kittens that lived on the dirt road by the school. Well...it didn't slip Jack's notice, because as I bent to pick up one of his "look what I did mom!" piles, he spotted a kitten and ran off before i could properly grab ahold of the leash. I could clearly see in his eyes the only thought that was running through his head..."ZOMFG! THIS IS THE BESTEST GAME EVAH!" Needless to say he was off like a shot. After a good 5 minutes of reaffirming that his recall command needed work, I had to hide behind a car for him to come looking for me. Who knew the best course of action when in panic is to exploit your pets weaknesses. Oh and following that realization, I find it AWESOME that Jack is more insecure than obedient. Just lovely (note the sarcasm).

Well after that fun game of keep away, I stupidly proceeded to the field with Jack. Once again, my brain not really helping with the details, missed the giant stagnant pond in the middle of the field...that giant, nasty, parasite filled pond...that Jack has been known to romp around in. Oh and romp he did. I was like a turettes induced moron yelling "giardia! worms!" as I tried to round him out of the pond, to no avail. Once again, defaulting to the whole "exploitation" plan, I walked away as quickly as possible and Jack followed. Now, any semi-intelligent person would've left at this point. We were only out for a grand total of 20 minutes and already we had two "make mom look like an ass" snafus. Nope, once again, epic fail in the detail department for my little ol'brain.

We moved further down the field (closer to Taylor Hall) when Jack suddenly discovered "OMFG! MUD!" and proceeded to munch down that gross, stinky dirt with all his might. As every single intestinal parasite flashed through my mind (with some squirts thrown in for good measure) I just gave up the game and stomped ankle deep into the mud to remove him. and myself from the field. I cannot even begin to contemplate what a hot mess I must've looked like, but I can tell you how pleased as punch Jack looked. >_<

To add insult to injury, I didn't realize that I was covered in mud (due to being really really friggin peeved) until I got INTO my car...and then also realized that the school had just recently cut the grass as well....leaving me somewhat tarred and feathered (uh...dirtied and greened?) as I realized that over the clumps and streaks of mud that I was covered in was also liberally spotted with grass stalks. Lovely. Needless to say we got home in short order and Jack will NOT be seeing the field until he learns a solid recall command...

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