Thanksgiving Lessons

Usually when Thanksgiving rolls around, my family being the all-American Asians that they are, find ways to bridge the cultural gap between our two diverse cultures. This cultural tight-rope walking is done primarily by taking advantage of the holiday vacation time by indulging in the Chinese favorite pastime of gambling. Yes, that's right, gambling. As a result there typically is no gobble gobble feast for me during this holiday, the appetizer holiday of the Holiday season. No, usually my family's predilection for risking their cash at Mah Jong or poker leaves me with not much choice but to feel orphaned at home, with my equally Thanksgiving dinner neglected brother, to brood over the unfairness of an empty stomach.

My friends taking pity of my rather pitiable situation always rise to the occasion and offer me a place to go. One Thanksgiving (about 5 years ago actually) I took them up on it. This year was no different and bunking with them has become a Thanksgiving tradition. I'm happy to report that this year, much like the last five, I am now brooding over the unfairness of being able to cram down only one corn bread pudding slice and the wonder of Thanksgiving left overs. Along with my musings about the size of my stomach relative to the food greediness of my eyes, I have learnt some other life lessons. They are as goes.

1. Grenada apparently has a severe goat problem. Part of the problem being that you can't curry any of these delicious little fellas due to some "conservation society". I am inclined to believe that the removal of this society would quickly lead to a solution to the aforementioned goat problem.
2. I should be wary of cloven hoofed women.
3. Lack of dumplings lead to a lack of goodwill. Typically this is directed at the person who attacked the pot before me, but for these particular food transgressions I know who to send my ill will.
4. Crashing a one-year old birthday party is more acceptable than I initially believed it to be.
5. Babies are racist, especially when they come from the ho's. (One loves dem Asians...the other hates...erm. yeah.)
6. Spoiled cats=Spoiled night's worth of sleep.
7. Apparently I must carry the Ox-tails to glory with my classically trained guitar hero shredding skills.
8. It would appear that no one else has noticed and therefore has not been ironically amused by the fact that our rock band demographic consists of no less than:
1 Asian Lesbian and 3 Trinies (which consist of 1 displaced Trini, 1 faux doctor and 1 "token".)

Thanks once again Ho's for taking in this Atlantic City produced orphan.